EPISODE 3- DIRE GUILT

Have you ever experienced that moment when you wish the world could end on that very spot. Entering the house I realized that Mr Oladele Wilson is dead. At first I looked round for a minute observing the essence of life, having the presumption that everything is vanity. People crying profusely and the reason I still find hard to believe. My father might have been strict and promiscuous yet he was nice and greatly generous. Everyone in the community knew him for his act of generosity though sometimes he showed some level of viscosity.

His presence at home was a lion among lambs; everyone would always maintain perfect decorum. Before anyone could approach me I ran into my room, locking up myself. Lied down on my bed thinking of how the day started and how it was ending, then I began I to wonder, can we ever get anything good from life when all we face is nothing but strife.

 

The next morning came so fast with people knocking my door as if privacy was not in there dictionary. I was still thinking of a reason to be alive since nothing is ready to turn out good for me. My cell phone rang till it went out of power. At this moment I wished I could close my eyes and never open them again, but wishes are only pictures created to pacify the mind.

 

To live or commit suicide I was yet to decide. I cried till all the strength in my bones where drained. It was the second day and my door was still very much locked, people were beginning to get worried, my mother’s intensity of crying increased she said she has also lost her son that who was to be next, is it going to be her second child? Or her last son, People could only try to calm her down but she would not listen, she kept on groaning like a wounded lion.

At this point i felt remorseful for the new widow, the pain of losing a husband I do not know, but that of losing someone who caters for you I could explicate with great dexterity. I took out my pen and diary, started wording my pain, feelings and thought about the present event. Words in my head could not express how painful it was, losing someone so special.

 

It was sun set and I was still under my self-imposed lock-down. The moment of loneliness made me think things through, I was ready to face life’s greatest challenges, thinking nothing could be as bad as losing my father all I felt was that this is the highest point of pain without knowing the future. At a point I was feeling dizzy suddenly I slept off and dreamt of walking in a desert all alone. All of a sudden I woke up with a knock on my door done with great strength. It was the third day without food or water.

 

I was beginning to feel weak and powerless but was able to reluctantly open the door; the first who ran straight into my arms was Femi, the youngest in the house, seven years of age but was more intelligent than his peer. He ran into me and I almost fell, thanks to the pillar behind me which stood as a support. John had tried his best, trying to call me but my phone was switched off and was ignorant of the dismissal of my father. He then came to my house that very day, deeply surprised about everything, before I could say one more word, he burst into uncontrollable tears, thinking of the moments he had given us numerous gift for having good grades in school.

 

That very instance, he called his parent that he was going to pass the night at my place narrating the whole event. The level at which visitors where trooping in, began to reduce; the house was more quiet and conducive.

I began some arrangement because everywhere looked disorganised. John joined me making it faster and better. He brought the news that Stella was anxious to talk to me, but could not think of such due to current milieu.My mother’s sister, aunt Dane went into the kitchen to cook breakfast everyone was ready to have breakfast, excluding my mother who was still mourning the dismissal of her dear husband.

 

She imagined what could have caused the car accident, my father as a person who drove with great care and always safety precautions. So his death to her was still a shock.

“Breakfast is ready” said jewel, my younger sister she is about to graduate from junior school, she is known to be the beauty of the house, excluding the fact that she is a young girl and the only daughter of the family, She possessed some forby qualities making her look like a princess, her hair was extraordinarily long, the texture of her skin was nothing compared to that of anyone in the family.

 

Finally we assembled at the table and ate breakfast, my aunt tried her best in making the breakfast lively but availed to nothing good. The atmosphere of sobriety was still very intense, eating breakfast could not make us forget such easily.

 

After breakfast, John and I went out for a walk, we were silent for a moment then he brought up the topic of graduation. It seemed not to matter to me anymore after the dreadful event that took place three days ago “I don’t know what to say to you john” my face was looking so confused and depressed “when is the date?” “August 4th” he said with an impulsive look “what’s with the face?” I asked anxiously he won’t be around he was traveling to Canada with his father.

 

Then he said he was trying to convince his father that they should leave after the graduation but he would not agree to his consent about it.

We walked majestically like someone who had achieved the most important things of life. We went to a game house, played some games and left without double thoughts. Getting home I heard the voice of some people, a particular voice sounded very familiar. Little did I know that John had already sent the message to our classmates, making them fill up my house like the assembly hall.

 

My aunt was happy to have them around, surprised was I, looking at my mom’s smile, while they said some nasty things about me. It was as if nothing had happened some days back.

 

They filled the house with great joy. I wished I had not entered through the front door but it was already too late, I had taking the first step into the sitting room. The first to set eyes on me was Joseph, our Head Boy who shouted A.W.K. meaning award winning kisser. Very few students knew the meaning but some of them could make a guess.

 

All of a sudden I saw Stella and the previous event replayed in my mind, making tears role down my eyes. I ran straight to my room and John ran immediately after me, knowing I was going to lock up myself and prevented such from happening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About ola samuel 5 Articles
sociable, loves making people happy and has a strong passion for writing interested in sensible argument and deals a little bit with mood swing

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